Adventures in Hyrule: as told by Erin
by Soen no Hibiki
Summary: Ever wonder what would happen if Link had a female companion traveling with him on his adventures? Now you can find out!!^_^ *CHAPTER 6 (FINALLY) UP!*
1. Great Deku Tree and the Journey to Hyrul...

Ever wonder what would happen if Link went through his travels with a female companion constantly by his side? Would things have turned out differently? Read one woman's shocking account of the time she spent with Link on his adventures.  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own Zelda or any of the characters in the story except for Erin.  
  
Hello, and my name is Erin. Have you ever wondered what it would be like to travel with Link, the legendary Hero of Time? Well, I know, and if you're willing to listen to the grimy details, then sit back and relax.  
  
I've known Link ever since he was no bigger than the Deku Tree's sprout, and let me tell you, he was always an adventurer. Always into things, Link got into lots of trouble with the other Kokiri. In fact, Saria and I were the only ones sane enough not to yell when he did stupid things.  
  
As you may very well know, one day the Great Deku Tree summoned Link. Saria wanted to wait behind, but he asked me to come with him so that he'd have someone to talk to if he had to go anywhere. Big mistake: I said yes, thinking that the Deku Tree would never send him out of the forest anyway. So, we each equipped a sword and shield and set off for the Deku Tree's meadow.  
  
When we arrived, the Deku Tree told us that he was cursed and he needed our help to break it. Were we courageous enough? Well, of course, being the dim- witted, naïve 10-year-olds that we were, we said yes, blithely unaware of the dangers that lay ahead of us.  
  
We marched right on into the Tree, started killing off monsters, and began to look for useful things. At one point, when I was fighting a particularly invulnerable Deku Baba, Link interrupted me suddenly with the words, "When are we gonna get out of here? I'm hungry."  
  
Now this just irritated me. "What the hell do you think you're doing, trying to get me killed by this infernal creature?!?!" I screamed furiously as I chopped the enemy in half and walked menacingly toward Link, sword in hand. "Don't.you.ever.do.that.again. You understand me?!" I screeched. Then, without warning, that damn fairy of his flew at my face and yelled, "Hey!" in its annoying little high-pitched fairy voice.  
  
"Whatever." I sighed and put my sword back into its scabbard. We continued on through the obstacles of the Tree with fewer fights than before, but we still had our disagreements. When it came time to beat Queen Gohma, though, Link suddenly lost all his courage and I had to do all of the work while he cowered in the corner. Once that horrible parasite was dead (Gohma, not Link.unfortunately.), we were teleported back out to the front of the Deku Tree.  
  
He explained to us that he was dying, and we needed to take the Kokiri's Emerald in order to help one "Princess of Destiny." Sighing loudly, I said, "I'll take it. Numb nuts here will probably lose it if you let him take it." Shaking my head, I pocketed the stone and we set off for the castle.  
  
On the way to the castle, I found myself continually wishing that we could just be teleported straight to the castle, because Link was incessantly and unmercifully whining about the stupidest things in the history of the world. Examples are as follows: "Ow, my foot." "Man, I'm HUNGRY. When do we eat?"  
  
My replies to these questions will have to be omitted if I want to stick to the rating that I set.  
  
Well, anyway, once we finally arrived at the castle, we had to sneak past hundreds of inept guards in order to find Princess Zelda. We succeeded on our first try, thanks to my careful watch of each guard's route. Otherwise, Mr. Hero would have gotten us both caught, the unreserved dimwit that he is.  
  
From the moment Link and Zelda first made eye contact, they knew they were in love. Sickening, isn't it? Well, that's what he tells me now, 7 years later, now that they are married and have an illegitimate 5-year-old child on their hands. Love, hah. *coughs* LUST!!! Anywho.  
  
I could tell from the second their eyes met that they liked each other. And, stupid me, I encouraged it. From then on, every time we played Zelda's Lullaby on the ocarina, he got this dreamy, starry look in his eyes that just nauseated me. Fortunately, it was easily cured by a good slap in the forehead, and we continued on with our adventure. *shakes her head disgustedly*  
  
Any-who, I'm gonna stop this chapter here, so you can wait and then R&R. If you don't, I may never post another chapter again!!! MUAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAH!!!! *grins evilly*  
  
~*Princess Ryoko*~ 


	2. Into Goron City

Chapter 2 is here, for those of you who liked it. For those of you who didn't, I took the liberty of twisting it a little bit so Link doesn't sound so completely idiotic; I must admit I was being a bit unfair to the poor boy. O.~  
  
After we'd left the castle and bought the necessary supplies, Link and I headed off to Death Mountain, the site of our next escapade. Upon arriving, we met the Goron's Boss, Darunia, who didn't seem to like us too much. He kept on shouting obscenities at us every time we tried to talk to him, and we did not find this at all pleasing. Now, I'm generally not a quitter, but I was so irritated by this creature's hopeless lack of etiquette that I sat down on the stairs in front of Darunia's room and poked at the bugs on the floor with a Deku Stick.  
  
However, Link showed me that there was still hope for him and the rest of Hyrule by displaying a brilliant stroke of genius that I previously would not have thought possible from him. While walking around on one of the many levels of ground, he went over by the entrance to the Lost Woods. He heard Saria's Song playing, and he grabbed my arm. "Erin, I have an idea. Come on." He pulled me back down to Darunia's room and said, "Watch this, it just might work." He began playing Saria's Song for Darunia, whose grumpy expression abruptly disappeared and changed into one of enormous delight. He started dancing like a maniac about the room, all dignity forgotten. Frightened, Link and I backed away from him slowly.  
  
"Make him stop." I whispered to Link as Darunia continued to skip idiotically around. Finally, after about 3 minutes of immensely frightening movement, he stopped dancing.  
  
"Wow, that was great," said Darunia, a childish grin plastered across his broad face. "So, what brings you two all the way up here on Death Mountain? Oh, is this your girlfriend?" he asked Link, nudging him with his elbow.  
  
"AACK!!! NOOOO!!!!" I screeched, glaring evilly at Darunia. "How could you possibly think that?! What is wrong with you?! Link is my best friend, nothing more, and don't you forget about it!!!" I finished, panting breathlessly. I gave him one last menacing look and shut my eyes, trying valiantly to regain my composure.  
  
"Okay, okay, you're not his girlfriend. So, what brings you two kids who are definitely not lovebirds to beautiful Goron City??" he asked, backing slowly away from me and giving me a cautious and frightened peek. "Don't let her bite me," he added to Link out of the corner of his mouth.  
  
"We want the Spiritual Stone of Fire. We need it for our quest to save Hyrule," Link said bluntly. And, even though it was in a loud, easily- audible-by-people-who-aren't-meant-to-hear-it whisper, he added, "Don't worry, she doesn't bite, usually."  
  
"I don't bite, Link, stop scaring him," I said, playfully shoving Link toward an appalled Darunia. "We'll do just about anything for that Spiritual Stone, because the fate of Hyrule depends on our getting it."  
  
"Well, if you two want it that badly, then destroy the monsters in the Dodongo's Cavern. That way, we'll have our food supply back and you'll gain power from beating all of those adversaries. If you do that, I'll give you anything you want, even the Spiritual Stone," Darunia explained. "Also, take these. I'm sure they'll help you on your quest. They're my thanks for helping me feel better." He rummaged around in a box on his floor, and pulled out two golden bracelets. "They're Goron's Bracelets, and they'll help even youngsters like you pull up Bomb Flowers," he added, seeing the puzzled looks on our faces.  
  
"Wow, cool!!" Link shouted, putting his on. "Thanks, Mr. Darunia!!!"  
  
"This is pretty neat," I added, donning mine. "Thank you. I'm sure we'll be able to put them to good use."  
  
"You're very welcome," said Darunia. "Now, when you've beaten all the monsters, you should go up to the top of Death Mountain and see the Great Fairy. I'm sure she will help you as well."  
  
"Well, I guess that's all we can do here right now," I said to Link. "We should probably get started beating those disgusting pieces of filth in the Cavern. Let's go!!"  
  
We headed down to Dodongo's Cavern, and we blew up the rocks in front. Once inside, I had a feeling that something wasn't right. "D'you think we should get out our Hylian shields? Our Deku Shields will probably burn up in this heat," I said quietly to Link.  
  
"Yeah, you're probably right," he whispered. We equipped our Hylian shields and then moved further into the cave.  
  
Well, I'm waiting for reviews, so tell me what you think! Should I continue on like this, or change the mood again? Let me know!! ~*Princess Ryoko*~ 


	3. Dodongo's Cavern

IT'S CHAPTER 3!!!!!!.for all of you who have been reviewing, thanks. Also, I got better reviews on chapter 2, so I'll continue on in that vein- but Link may or may not sound a bit stupid, who knows. Why? Because I said so. Not to mention that I am the almighty author, and.ok. Anywho, the name Erin was not just completely random- 'tis my own name, I couldn't think of any other ones because of my occasional episodes of writer's block. ^_^;; So, on with the story.  
  
I looked over at Link, then over to the ledge to our right. "What.in Din's name.is THAT?!" I pointed toward a particularly malicious-looking creature about 100 yards away. It opened its one huge eye, blinked at us, and began shooting laser beams from its one disgusting orifice.  
  
Frightened, I grabbed Link's arm. "RUN!!!!" I screamed, a look of immense terror on my face, and run we did. We sprinted into another nearby room, closed the door, and breathlessly collapsed onto the dirt floor.  
  
"What.was.that?" I asked, gasping for breath. I looked up at a raised spot in the area, noticed another one-eyed creep atop it, and whispered to Link, "We've got company."  
  
Startled, Link jumped off of the muddy terrain and yanked his sword from its sheath. "Erin," he shouted, "GO!!!!" With a determined look on his face, he darted toward the great ugly brute and began furiously slashing at it with his blade. This was not helpful, however. The creature became irritated, and blasted Link with its horrible death ray. He limped away, barely alive, with a pained and anguished look on his face, saying, "Forget.it.Erin.you'll.never.beat.it." I watched in horror as my best friend crumpled to the floor.  
  
"NO!!!!" I screamed in rage. "You'll pay for this, you nauseating piece of rubbish!!!" I noticed a Bomb flower planted near the door, so I heaved it out of the ground and hurled it toward the evil beast, which promptly exploded and left nothing save a small pile of debris where it had once stood.  
  
I rushed to the side of my severely injured companion, a worried expression traversing my young, freckled face. I brushed his short blond hair out of his slightly opened azure eyes, and said, "Link, are you alright?" Not hearing a reply, I grew quickly more upset. I shook his shoulders gently and spoke again. "Link, please speak to me if you're awake."  
  
He opened his sparkling sapphire eyes a little more and replied, "I'm fine, just a little beaten up. And you?" He sat up and leaned against the wall, blinking a few times. "I see you've beaten it," he added, a small smile crossing his thin, chapped lips.  
  
"Yep, seems that way, doesn't it," I told him, grinning broadly. "Can you stand up?" Seeing that he couldn't do that on his own, I helped him to his feet and let him lean on me until he was able to walk alone again. Once that had happened, we each were able to get hold of a Bomb Bag, and additionally were able to get into the boss room without much further harm.  
  
Once inside the boss room, Link and I took a look at our surroundings. We noticed a huge, gray-green dinosaur marching toward us, and we both prepared for battle. Link looked at me, this time with nothing but courage shining in his bright blue eyes, and asked, "You ready?"  
  
"Whenever you are," I said in reply, a half-smile creeping over my dirty, battle-weary visage.  
  
We moved quickly toward the enemy, swords and shields armed and at the ready. The great, horrendous creature looked at us with beady black eyes and let out a deafening roar. "Here we go," I said, yanking a bomb out of my bag. When the creature inhaled, I tossed the now-glowing explosive into its mouth and then hacked at the injured beast with my sword.  
  
It stopped moving for a second, then let out another earsplitting growl and rolled right over me. I yelped in pain, shot a furious look of anguish toward the horrible brute, yelled for Link to watch out, and moved to a corner of the room so I could recuperate from the assault.  
  
Link fought the creature bravely, a determined look on his pale face, following my lead but never once being hurt by the massive beast. Once he had successfully beaten the unsightly monster, he pulled me to my feet. "You.saved me," I said, leaning on his shoulder. "You were.really brave. That's great.what with the happenings in the Great Deku Tree," I added, nudging him playfully. "You really came through. I'm very glad you are here with me." I embraced him, grinning widely.  
  
"Don't mention it. It truly was nothing, you've been great. You really deserved to be saved, because you sure saved my scaredy arse back there in the Deku Tree," he told me, returning the hug with an even bigger smile plastered across his own face. "Now," he added, "we should probably go into that blue light thingy again, and maybe this Darunia guy will give us the Spiritual Stone." He hoisted me onto his back and carried me over to the portal after collecting the Heart Container, which restored his life force.  
  
We stepped into the portal excitedly, since we were now one step closer to saving Hyrule. Instantaneously, we were teleported to the front of Dodongo's Cavern, where we saw Darunia again, this time with an immensely delighted, wide smile plastered across his broad face.  
  
Darunia continued grinning, saying, "So, I guess you two lovebirds--" I glared at him- "Er.I mean, you two little heroes came through after all. I guess I have to reward you now." He held up his massive hands and suddenly, a miniscule ball of dazzling white light appeared in them. "With this," he said, looking back and forth from the glittering ball to the two of us, "you two become my Sworn Brother and Sworn Sister." He tossed the radiant, glowing sphere to us, and the light abruptly disappeared.  
  
Link stared at me in shock at what he saw. "Oh, my goddesses." he said, amazed. "This.this is." He stopped abruptly, a stunned look on his face.  
  
"It's the.the Spiritual Stone of Fire!!!" I shouted, overjoyed. He handed it to me, still stunned, and I pocketed it. "We finally got it!!!"  
  
"Let's go see that Fairy person on top of the mountain now," Link said, beginning to recover from the astonishment of actually seeing the beautiful stone. "Hopefully, she's not a fat-lipped freak like that attendant of Zelda's."  
  
"Link, be nice." I said, playfully shoving him and rolling my eyes amusedly. "Speaking of Zelda, we've got to go see her, too, so let's get a move on." We profusely thanked Darunia several times, larger-than-life looks of extreme gratitude and amazement glued to our childish features.  
  
Well, that ish all for now. Did y'all like that one? I didn't make him sound stupid this time, but I'll be back.MUAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAH!!!!!! *grins evilly* Cheers, ~*Princess Ryoko*~ 


	4. Search for the Great Fairy

For all y'all anxious ones, I'm finally *shifty eyes as she receives all of your evil glares* posting Chapter #4. Sorry 'bout making ya wait, but I've had lots of stuff to do lately, what with school starting back up and all. Anywho, on with the story...  
  
I yawned, desperate for a break. "Link, can we stop for a little while?? I haven't slept in a week, and I'm practically dead where I stand," I said groggily, giving myself a little slap on the back of my hand as a desperate means of waking myself up.  
  
"We're almost to the Great Fairy, and hopefully she'll make you feel better when we get there, but we can't stop yet," he replied wearily, holding me up as we continued to trudge toward the top of the immense volcano.  
  
Once we had regained composure of our exhausted bodies, we noticed some stones falling from the now deep red sky. "Oh...no. It's going to erupt..." I said, apprehension creasing my childish face.  
  
Frantically, Link looked up at the still-darkening sky. "RUN!!!!!!" he screamed, trepidation rushing across his features. And run we did. We scampered along until we couldn't anymore, until our bodies completely gave in to the utter exhaustion of sprinting with all the strength in our very hearts, and meanwhile trying to avoid being squashed by the enormous boulders plummeting from the sky.  
  
We finally passed the boulders, after nearly our entire combined physical and mental prowess had given way. We looked at one another, and then up at our next challenge. "Link," I said, looking up at the vine-swathed wall in front of us with desperately tired, watering eyes, "do we have to climb that?" I gazed at him, eyes pleading for him to tell me that there was another alternative.  
  
"Yes, Erin," he said almost sadly, lethargy creeping onto his bold face. "We have to climb it."  
  
I sighed loudly, glaring at him. "Alright, alright, let's do it then." We exhaustedly pulled our small bodies, weak from fatigue, up the vines and to the top ledge, not saying another word until we were there for fear of wasting precious energy.  
  
"Well," I said, surveying the top of the mountain and trying not to look down, "we made it. Let's go see this Great Fairy chick and see what she's got to say."  
  
"Yeah," Link added, looking at the entrance to a cave. "Let's try in here first, and hopefully she can help us." He sighed languidly and started walking toward the massive hole.  
  
We cautiously made our way into the cave, and noticed about 5 yards in that it was VERY hot in there. "Holy goddesses!!! We'll burn to death in here!!!" I shouted frantically, fanning myself with all the strength in me. I looked at Link, panic-stricken, for an answer as to what we should do now, when I suddenly stopped feeling anything. Everything around me went black, and I was out cold before I hit the ground.  
  
When I woke up, we were back outside. "Wha...what happened??" I asked quizzically, looking around me and noticing that the temperature had returned to normal. I looked expectantly up at Link, waiting for him to explain.  
  
"Well, we had just gotten into that hell-hole of a cave when suddenly, you started screaming and fanning yourself, and then you just.well, you blacked out. I carried you back outside and then you woke up," he explained in one breath, looking quite winded.  
  
"Are you alright, then?" I asked him a bit warily, not wanting to feel like a wuss. "I'm willing to bet that you didn't exactly have an easy time getting me out," I continued, smiling slightly.  
  
"Oh, I'm fine, I'm fine. Just a little shaken from all that heat."  
  
"Well then, let's try somewhere else," I said, looking relieved. "Maybe that rock thing will explode if you bomb it," I added, pointing to a weak- looking rock that seemed to be covering something.  
  
"Good idea." He pulled out a bomb, threw it at the 'door' with all his might, and waited for the explosion.  
  
BANG!!!  
  
The bomb went off with a deafening boom and shattered the rock to bits, revealing another opening in the wall of the volcano. "Let's go in there," Link suggested, obviously having given this some thought. "Just don't die on me this time."  
  
"I wasn't dead, Mr. Genius-boy. I blacked out, DUH," I replied sarcastically, rolling my eyes at him. "How about we just go on into that hole and pray to the goddesses that it isn't as hot as the last one?!" Muttering in exasperation, I walked reluctantly behind Link into the opening.  
  
Well, I'm sorry to say it, but my writer's block is being persistent right now, and I can't think. Plus, I like leaving cliffhangers just to be evil, and this seemed like as good a place as any. ^_^ Tune in next time for Chapter 5!!!  
  
Cheers,  
  
~*Princess Ryoko*~ 


	5. Fairies are Scary

CHAPTER 5.finally.hey! *hides in the corner as she gets glared at* Hey now, I've been grounded.*sigh* Anywho, I know it's been a long time since I've updated, but.here ya go! ^^  
  
I grabbed hold of Link's wrist with new determination and dragged him into the cavern. "Dammit, Link, we need to get in there!!" I shouted exasperatedly. "I'm tired too, but we need to see this 'Great Fairy' so we can be DONE!!!!"  
  
"Okay, okay, I'm coming," was his response. I let go of his arm and followed him up to a set of marble steps that led to some sort of fountain, where we noticed the imprint of a Triforce symbol located on the top step.  
  
"Hey, I think I know what to do!" Link shouted, whipping out his ocarina. He played Zelda's Lullaby quickly, and then peered into the fountain.  
  
What happened next was something that neither he nor I was expecting in the least. A giant.thing.shot out of the water and cackled loudly. "YAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!" shrieked Link and I, falling backward down the cold, hard stairs. I landed on him (to which he replied by grunting loudly and groaning, "Erin, GEROFF me."), then got up and looked at the 'thing' that had startled us.  
  
It turned out to be the Great Fairy herself, but MAN, was she SCARY! I motioned for Link to come over by me, then whispered to him, "What in the name of Nayru is she thinking, wearing something like THAT?!" I glanced at her clothes, which consisted of nothing more than clumps of vines clustered only in places where they were absolutely necessary. "Eww." I muttered under my breath.  
  
"Welcome, children. How may I assist you?" asked the Great Fairy in a wispy tone that to me sounded like she had had a little too much to drink. "Oh, I see you're associated with the.Royal Family? Well, then, I MUST help you!" She danced around in an annoyingly spirited (and yet idiotic) manner, floating in the air without a care in the world.  
  
"Airhead." Link mumbled, nudging me with his elbow, and I bit my lip so I wouldn't laugh. Now talking to the ditzy sprite in front of us, he asked, "Can you make us more powerful?"  
  
"Oh, yes, dear ones, I can give you a new sword technique and heal all your wounds!" she replied, adding extra animation on the word 'sword.' She threw a ball of light at each of us, with the words "Receive it now!!!"  
  
Instantly, I felt more powerful and extremely energetic. "Thanks, lady!!" Link and I called out as we ran outside the cave once more.  
  
"C'mon, Link, we gotta go see your girrrrlllllfriend." I teased, indicating that we had to go see Her-Royal-Pain-in-the-Arse (aka Princess Zelda) again. He glared at me, so I decided to shut up and be nice.  
  
We snuck past the ever-so-irritating guards for a second time to get to the Princess. Once we were inside the courtyard, Zelda came rushing up to greet us. She hugged me first, shrieking, "ERIN!!! I'm so glad you're safe! However did you manage to last so long?!?!?!?!" she continued babbling mindlessly as I tried to push her off, telling her to please let go of me before I suffocated. "Okay, so how was it?!" she continued in her loud, high-pitched voice, hugging Link quickly before stepping back to get a better look at us.  
  
"Well, Genius-Boy here-" I pointed to Link- "almost got us killed by walking into the wrong cave."  
  
"How dare you!" shrieked Zelda, gasping and pointing at me. "How dare you insult Link like that!!!"  
  
"Please shut UP, Lil' Miss Priss," I sighed, rolling my eyes at the clouds- for-brains princess and turning to leave. "Come on, Link, let's go." I walked toward Impa, who was conveniently waiting right at the exit to the courtyard and asked her to please take us out. She complied with my request and teleported us to the front of the castle.  
  
"THANK YOU FOR GETTING ME OUT OF THERE!!!!" Link shouted, jumping on me and squashing me under his weight. "You saved me from the icky princess!"  
  
"Link?" I groaned, trying to move.  
  
"Hn?"  
  
"Geroff me." I said, shoving him off my stomach and sending him toppling to the grass. I stood up, giggled, and ran toward Zora's river, which was the location of our next .assignment, so to speak. ***** Ah, well, you know the drill. R&R, and you find out what happens!! ^-^  
  
Next time: Our hero and heroine meet the Zora Royal Family! .and are in for a nasty shock.*evil grin*  
  
Until next time.  
  
Cheers!  
  
~*Princess Ryoko*~ 


	6. Fishface's Domain

CHAPTER 6  
  
Disclaimer: Do I even have to say that I don't own Zelda?! Is the maker of Zelda a freakish, psychotic 14-year-old girl who eats peanut butter, butter, and sugar sandwiches at most of her meals because she's too busy writing stories for a free online publishing service to make something more complicated (or count calories for that matter)?! GAH!!!!! *runs in circles, hooting like a maniac*  
  
Aaanywhooooo...  
  
I'M BACK!!!!!!!! *grins widely*  
  
...  
  
Hello?? ... *crickets chirp in the background*  
  
...Fine then. No story for you.  
  
Someone sitting in a folding chair, who Ryoko instantly recognizes as Sophitia: NO! We want another chapter! We want another chapter! *chants for about a minute, then realizes nobody else is there...besides Miroku...and shuts up*  
  
Princess Ryoko: Sophitia, I know YOU want another one, but I want more reviews fi--  
  
Goddess Sophitia: *jumps on Ryoko, then motions wildly for Miroku to come over by her* Miroku, help...  
  
Miroku: *blank look as he watches Sophitia and Ryoko's little cat-fight and hands a bag of popcorn to Link, who has just walked over*  
  
Link: I bet ten on Ryoko. *eats popcorn*  
  
Goddess Sophitia: Argh...*rolls eyes, groans, then gags and ties up Ryoko and adds this into Ryoko's 6th chapter, which she then proceeds to post* So THERE! *sticks out tongue*  
  
****  
  
I marched ahead of Link, ignoring him completely. "Erin, what's wrong?!" he asked me for the umpteenth time, now pleading, but I continued to ignore him.  
  
"ERIN!" he yelled.  
  
After waiting about 25 seconds and hearing nothing, he did the one thing that he knew would always make me talk to him: he started singing.  
  
Now, even if I'm the only person in the mortal universe that has ever heard Link sing, I'll tell everyone that it is NOT pleasant. (Actually, it sounds a bit like someone trying to play an out-of-tune violin...) Not able to bear his shrieks of 'Naaaayyyyyruuu llooooooovvvvvessss meeeeee, thisss I knoooowwwww...' any longer, I clamped my hands over my ears and screamed, "SHUT THE HELL UP!!!"  
  
"Oh, so you're talking to me now?"  
  
"What do you want?!"  
  
"I want to know what's the matter with you! Why won't you talk to me?"  
  
I sighed loudly. "Link, you made me go see that spoiled, bratty, pathetic excuse for a princess who goes by the alias of "Zelda" again, THAT's what's wrong!" (A/N: Sorry Zelda fans.) I shouted in disgust. "She doesn't like me, and I know it! She tells me all the time that I better stop trying to SEDUCE you!!!"  
  
"Oh. I thought it was something serious." He grinned and continued walking.  
  
I started to twitch with anger. Having just learned how to use Din's fire, I was tempted to use it on him, but I didn't. "You come back here this instant, Link!!!" I screeched, chasing after him. I finally caught him and thwacked him in the head with a rock that conveniently happened to be just off the dirt path through Hyrule Field. "That oughta teach ya a lesson..." I said, standing up and dusting myself off, then proceeding to march on ahead.  
  
I had walked about 50 feet when I heard a loud groan from behind me. I looked back to see my dimwit of a best friend still lying on the ground, twitching, and drooling, with a large red mark on his face. "Oops." I grinned sheepishly and blushed a light shade of pink (ugh, pink...). "Sorry, Link..." He growled and knocked me over too, just to spite me.  
  
After we had gotten back onto our feet, I grabbed his wrist and pulled him along behind me until we got to a waterfall.  
  
"Oh, great, we're stuck," I said, rolling my eyes.  
  
"Yeah, I kn-..." he started to reply, but then looked at the ground beneath our feet.  
  
" 'Kn'? What does 'kn' mean?"  
  
"Erin, lookit." He pointed to a plaque on the ground and motioned for me to read it.  
  
"...When the King of Hyrule slumbers, so too do these falls. What in the world...oh!" I said, suddenly realizing what we had to do. "We have to..."  
  
"I know. We have to play Zelda's Lullaby, and then we can go THROUGH the waterfall!" he said, grinning, obviously very proud of his little discovery. He commenced to dig through his pack for Saria's ocarina, which was nowhere to be found...unsurprisingly.  
  
"Nope...that's not it...not that either...darn thing, where is it...ouch, no, not that..." He rummaged through his bag, throwing random objects aside. "Aha! Found it!!" He put on the cheesiest of all cheeseball grins and held up the instrument.  
  
"Play the song already and get it over with...I think I just went through my midlife crisis, for Din's sake." I yawned loudly as he followed my orders for once.  
  
As predicted, the waterfall stopped, and we went to go see the Zora King, a squat, fishy little man who looked nothing like a king, save for his red cape and "headpiece" (I still think it's a tiara). He asked us to find his daughter, the Princess, who had somehow gotten herself eaten by a giant fish called 'Lord Jabu-Jabu.' He also told us another lovely little tidbit of information: we had to go see the OTHER Great Fairy.  
  
"Oh, joy..." I muttered under my breath. "C'mon, Link, let's get this over with..."  
  
I turned around to see what in Din's name he could be doing now, and I sort of wish I hadn't: he was poking the King's rather large belly with his index finger. "Are you...a fish?" Link asked the King, still poking his gut.  
  
"How dare you even insinuate such a thing! I am not a fish! I am King of the Zoras! Apologize, puny human!"  
  
Link paused for a moment, put on the "sad puppy eyes", then looked up at the now furious King, and said, "You...smell like a fish."  
  
"I am NOT a fish!"  
  
"You loo-"  
  
I hurriedly covered his mouth before he could finish his phrase. "He's sorry, your Highness," I said hastily, forcing Link to nod his head. I dragged him outside like he was a waterlogged corpse.  
  
"You know, you could've gotten us both in a lot of trouble, Mr. Hero..." I said, rolling my eyes and slapping him in the back of the head.  
  
Link muttered something under his breath.  
  
"What was that, smart-arse?!" I shouted, now rather irritated.  
  
"He did look like a fish..." Link said, still rather quietly.  
  
"Well...yeah, but still...you didn't have to TELL him that! He obviously didn't like it!" I added, trying to suppress a giggle. "O...kay, so it was funny, but...aww, screw it. We need to go find Li'l Miss Fairy-Freak No. 3, happy happy joy joy. C'mon, Mr. Hero," I sighed, pushed him into the water, jumped in, and swam with him over to a little island (if it was big enough to be called an island...). I whipped out a Bomb, threw it at a suspicious- looking rock, obviously causing it to blow up...duhhh. We walked into the dark tunnel that the rock had been covering, where we found Fairy-Freak No. 2, as expected. She was just as scary as the last one...big surprise there.  
  
"Helloooooooo, young ones!!!!" she shrieked. "Let me heal your battle wounds!"  
  
"Oh...my...goddesses. I swear to Din, she needs some serious therapy..." I said, holding on to Link's arm as Fairy-Fruit, Navi's friend no doubt, got rid of our lovely little abuse-marks.  
  
"Uh-huh..." Link nodded in agreement.  
  
"Iiiiiiiiii've got something veeeeeeeery special for you two!!" said the odd woman, throwing at us.  
  
"What is this?" I asked, holding up the greenish object that had been tossed in our direction.  
  
"Thaaaaaat, my deeeears, is Farore's Wind, which can be used as a warp point in dangerous situations!!" she explained, looking slightly more ditzy.  
  
I sighed loudly as she continued rambling in her irritatingly high-pitched squeaks. Once she was finally finished, we hurriedly thanked the Fairy for her help, then left as quickly as possible and made our way over to Lord Jabu-Jabu.  
  
Once we had finally managed to get inside Lord Jabu-Jabu (not a pleasant ordeal, thank you, I thought we were fish food when he swallowed us- ech...), we found the Princess within a couple of minutes of running like the hounds of Hell were after us. Link, genius that he is, immediately stuck out his arm and pointed, screaming, "ERIN! COME LOOK! IT'S ANOTHER FI- "  
  
I covered his mouth once more, then turned to get a look at this princess, hoping to Din that she wasn't all. . . GIRLY. . .like Zelda.  
  
I dropped my hand, and Link and I finished his sentence in unison:  
  
"FISH!!!!!!!!"  
  
The Princess made a pouty face, then took it upon herself to make us her new chums. In a very snooty voice, she said, "I am not a fish! I am Princess Ruto of the Zoras. What are your names, puny non-Zoras?"  
  
"Excuse me?!" I shrieked. "I am NOT puny! Do NOT call me PUNY!!!!!!!!" Now I, for one, am very touchy about my short stature, and I do not appreciate people calling me 'puny.' I started to run toward her to get a good thwack in on her, but Link grabbed my arm, pulled, and thus held me back from thwacking her as I had earlier done to him.  
  
"Erin, cool it," he said, desperately trying to keep my struggling form pinned on the ground. "That HURTS," he added, speaking of the way I liked to hit people.  
  
Ruto then began to fawn all over him. "Oh...didn't know YOU were a...hero..." she said in a high voice, batting her eyelashes and touching his arm lightly.  
  
Link gulped and turned to me for assistance, but I refused, since he was still sitting on me. "Nope. You're on your own this time, Mr. Hero."  
  
****  
  
OK, sorry for the slight cliffhanger, but it's not like the characters are in a bloody life-or-death situation, ne?  
  
Link: Easy for you to say. Ruto doesn't have a crush on YOU, does she??  
  
Ryoko: *ignores Link*And anyway, most of you prolly aren't on the edge of your seats anyway...well, except for Sophitia and Miroku over there...  
  
Sophitia: *glares evilly at Ryoko while leaning on Miroku* Shaddup...  
  
Miroku: Well, she's got a point...  
  
Sophitia: *gets up* But I'm not gonna admit it.  
  
Ehehehehehe............well, that's all, folks! *takes advantage of the fact that Sophitia has turned away for a moment and runs, not realizing that Sophitia is putting Link into poor Ryoko's closet*  
  
Cheers,  
  
~*Princess Ryoko*~ 


End file.
